self-management — Executive Coaching & Leadership Training Blog

Snack-Sized Coaching

My new t-shirt says: I’m not for everyone. I bought this t-shirt as a reminder that, if the goal is to “be for everyone,” then I am probably watering down who I am. How often am I trying to make it easy for other people by not sharing a strong opinion, an expectation or a preference? This shirt reminds me that it’s ok not to be chosen. It doesn’t mean that the sting of rejection doesn’t hurt, but it’s a whole lot easier than trying to fit into something that I probably never really wanted anyways. How about you? In what areas of your life are you trying too hard to “be for everyone”? What are you giving up by not fully expressing yourself?

Answering The Question That Has Fueled The Self-Help Industry

I told one of my first coaches that I wanted to ‘reach my potential’ and in her characteristic bluntness, she said that sounded ambitious. I didn’t like her response. Ambitious or not, I wanted to unlock my stuckness. I was tired of myself and of the same situations happening to me over and over again.

I also wanted something that would accelerate my growth. I wanted to see what exactly I was capable of.

Living in the In-Between

“Liminal space... It is where we are betwixt and between, having left one room or stage of life but not yet entered the next. We usually enter liminal space when our former way of being is challenged or changed—perhaps when we lose a job or a loved one, during illness, at the birth of a child, or a major relocation. It is a graced time, but often does not feel “graced” in any way. In such space, we are not certain or in control.”

Leadership Has Never Felt Lonelier

One of my clients, Jennifer, is alternately referred to as Wonder Woman and a Force of Nature by her team. After less than a minute of small talk during this week’s coaching conversation, it was clear that Jennifer was struggling with something.

What is Everyone Else Doing?

Even in the best of times we all want to get a glimpse into how other people are living their lives. It’s one of the things I love most about my work– I get to see how different organizations, teams and leaders navigate the complexities of life.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been listening for best practices, themes and lessons that feel important, not just for me, but also for other high-performing leaders. My hope, in putting these together, is that you read something that makes you feel like you’re not the only one experiencing this. And maybe you’ll make the smallest of adjustments that might help you be a better you for yourself, for your team and in your own life.

Is it normal to feel this way?

Over the past few weeks I’ve had a lot of coaching conversations. My clients have very little in common. They range from their 20’s to their 60’s. They are diverse in just about everything - how they identify their race and gender; what they do; their levels and the industries in which they work.

And you know what? For as different as they all are, there are certain universal themes that are underlying all of our conversations…

How to Think Like a Leader

Are you your own worst critic? Do you beat yourself up for all of the things you don't know or for your mistakes? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you hate admitting when you don't know something? Do you get defensive when someone contradicts you or challenges you? …

What to Do when you F*** it Up

You cringe when you think about how you handled the situation. How you said all the wrong things. How you reacted instead of thinking things through…what do you do when you know you messed up?

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