Snack-Sized Coaching

Sometimes all you need is a short anecdote or a reflection question to shift your perspective or move you into action.

So here are a few things I’ve been thinking about…

My new t-shirt says:  I’m not for everyone.  I bought this t-shirt as a reminder that, if the goal is to “be for everyone,” then I am probably watering down who I am.  How often am I trying to make it easy for other people by not sharing a strong opinion, an expectation or a preference?  This shirt reminds me that it’s ok not to be chosen.  It doesn’t mean that the sting of rejection doesn’t hurt, but it’s a whole lot easier than trying to fit into something that I probably never really wanted anyways. How about you?  In what areas of your life are you trying too hard to “be for everyone”?  What are you giving up by not fully expressing yourself? 

How about you?  In what areas of your life are you trying too hard to “be for everyone”?  What are you giving up by not fully expressing yourself? 

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Something a client just said to me:  “I am my best self with you.”  He said my focused presence helped him “pull ideas out of his head.” He felt more engaged, resourceful and motivated, especially when he compared it to conversations with his manager who was always multi-tasking while saying, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”  Lesson here?  Companies are spending tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out how to retain and engage their employees. The simplest thing you can do to exponentially increase your engagement score today is to STOP MULTI-TASKING.  Put down your phone and listen.  Maybe not easy, but simple.

The simplest thing you can do to exponentially increase your engagement score today is to STOP MULTI-TASKING.  Put down your phone and listen.  Maybe not easy, but simple.

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Something a client just said to me #2:  After getting a promotion and negotiating for a higher-than-offered bump in salary, a client said to me that, if it weren’t for our conversations, she would have just accepted the original offer.  She said, “I always thought that successful people just knew how to do this kind of stuff and that I had to figure it all out on my own.  I realize now that every CEO and successful person has their own Starla and their own Board of Directors who help them strategize and make decisions.”  Consider your own goals.  Where do you want to elevate your game and who have you explicitly enlisted to help you?  For example, I wanted to actively improve my strength and flexibility so I started working with Lauren, my crazy and amazing contortionist personal trainer, every week.  It’s not cheap and I don’t always want to go, but I’m better and more committed because of her. 

Consider your own goals.  Where do you want to elevate your game and who have you explicitly enlisted to help you? 

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Speaking of creating your own Board of Directors…I’m heading to Germany in August to address a group of 150 women and their allies to discuss building mutually generative relationships that help support their career progression. I will be co-presenting with Deb Leach, a former client and Vice President at GlobalFoundries.  Here is a worksheet we put together to help you build a strong Board of Directors for yourself. 


Starla Sireno specializes in Executive Communication Skills Coaching in NYC. Whether it is an individual conversation or a group facilitation, Starla has an unparalleled ability to create deeply meaningful, useful and practical learning experiences for her clients. Inquire how you can work with Starla or her team.